But Wait! There’s More!

Did you ever fall asleep watching TV and wake up to someone trying to sell the vegetable chopper to be envied by all other vegetable choppers?  I can say I have.  Either that or the 700 Club was on but that’s another story.  When I think about this now it seems like such a distant memory.

Rob’s question for today is… is the Internet destroying the infomercial?  It was something like that anyway.  It’s too late to text him for exact wording.  We all know the answer is yes.  I think this actually happened a long time ago.  It might be because I am too young, but I have never bought anything from an infomercial or a number off of a TV commercial.  I’m willing to bet some kids don’t even know what a commercial is (Those are what we now call ads, kids.  If you have really good parents, they will pay more so you don’t have to see them.)

There were two infomercials that have impacted my life.  Not even for the products.  Thank you infomercials for the memories.

The first one is a TY Beanie Baby infomercial that was on Christmas morning whatever the year Beanie Babies were the hot item.  It kept my brother and I occupied while we were waiting for 6am which was the time our mom said was the earliest we could wake her up to see what Santa brought.

The other is Ronco knives.  It was my first real New Year’s Eve party but instead of watching Dick Clark and getting wasted, we all sat around the TV watching the Ronco knives infomercial getting wasted and waited for what was next.  But wait! There’s more! There was so much more.  I think there was still more when we decided to turn it off and go to sleep.  If I was old enough to have a credit card I might have given into that offer… especially when they threw in the special flavor injector.  It could apparently inject into the uninjectable and it was free.

It is true that anything you could want to buy, even if it is from an infomercial is available online.  There is no need to watch anything on TV.  Just type it in and look at the Amazon reviews.  If you want the “but wait! there’s more deals,”  just check out the networks website regularly.  No need to give up precious Netflix time to watch someone hold up a handbag on TV for 2 hours.

Although informercials served their purpose for a long time, it is clear the internet has made them obsolete.  You can buy what you want on the Internet at the same time you are watching something you want to watch.  I will say though, there still might be some gems out there.  Maybe give a shopping a channel a try someday.  It might be just what you were looking for.  You should also let me know what you had for lunch.




I Don’t Know

You know how there are just somethings that seem wrong for no real reason?  Like back in the early 2000s when Heinz came out with green and purple ketchup?  It tastes exactly the same put it was impossible to eat because it just seemed so wrong.

Rob’s question for today is… is it okay to wash your face in the kitchen sink?  I mean, in a pinch I would do it but I would be grossed out the entire time.  I don’t care how how clean the sink is, all I would be thinking about is all the food particles and dirty dishrags that were once there.  What’s worse though, is when people wash their hair in the kitchen sink… or their babies.

Again, I guess any of the above are fine but all freak me out.  That’s all I have to say.  I have had a very long day and my brain is not working efficiently enough to produce any more thoughts. I am going to lay down and dream about a world where green ketchup never existed.  I promise I will have more to say tomorrow… and let me know in the comments what you had for lunch today if you feel like it.  Goodnight.

19’th Century Uber

Have you ever wondered if it was a good idea to take your horse out on the town for a few cocktails on a Saturday night?  Of course by take out I mean as a form of transportation.  I don’t know of any horse friendly bars, but I guess you never know.

Rob’s question for today is can you get a DUI while riding a horse?  The answer to that is of course.  I’ve heard theories that drunk horse riding started the first businesses that would later inspire Uber and Lyft type services.  It is thought that the first sober horse riding service began in the mid 1800’s when saloons started sending carrier pigeons with messages for designated riders to come pick up drunken patrons due to the increase of drunk horse riding during that time.

After a quick Google search, I found multiple reports of people being charged with DUIs for taking horses out on the interstate while under the influence in the middle of the night.  Under the influence of what?  I don’t know, but something tells me something a little stronger than a few shots of whiskey was probably involved for someone to think that was a good decision.

You can get a DUI for driving anything under the influence of a mind altering substance.  Bikes, boats, trains, go carts… you name it.  Stay safe out there and don’t drink and drive. But please do let me know what was for lunch today.

You’ve got Mail

I don’t know about you, I guess it depends on your age and IQ, but when I was a kid I would take anything free from a store.  Besides picking out my cereal, the best part about being in the grocery store was taking those coupons that stuck out of those little red dispenser machines.  It was so much fun to collect them and watch the next one pop out.  This is where the IQ thing comes into play… mine might have been a little on the low side. Anyway, if you don’t know what I’m talking about it is because you are young.  I am not old.  Today’s question made me think of this because it deals with something else that used to be free in stores.

Rob’s question for today is what happened to all of the free trial AOL CDs?  You remember those right?  They would be in check out lines of every store and be in your mailbox every other day.  I remember this vividly, but at the same time I think, wow! There was a time you needed a disc to install the Internet.  That just blows my mind a little bit.  I don’t even have a device with a disc drive… well one that doesn’t take 20 minutes to turn on.  I don’t have time for all of that.

To answer your question, Rob, I can only speculate.  I do agree however, they did seem to mysteriously vanish off the face of the earth.  There were so many of them and I don’t know one person who still has one to prove they actually existed. What I think probably happened was after DSL and cable made dial up obsolete,  AOL sent out their super secret special agents to steal back all the discs so they could melt them down and come up with a new product.

It took almost 2 decades for AOL to decide what to do with all the plastic, but in 2017 the company finally stumbled upon an opportunity.  They were able to sell all of the material from the discs to manufacturers of fidget spinners.  AOL made so much money from this deal they were able to shut down their famous AOL Instant Messenger (AIM)  in December of that same year.

As much as we were sad to see AIM go, at least we can hold solace in the fact that each fidget spinner is a piece of Internet history.  Thanks for reading and remember to let me know in the comments what was for lunch today.


It all Started in the Heartland

Rob’s question for today is an interesting one.  It is something almost everyone has witnessed multiple times and every time we have the same surprised reaction.  No matter how many times we see it, it doesn’t stop being shocking.

Rob’s question is why are CVS receipts a yard long?  You’re right, Rob.  They are crazy long.  I remember buying a soda and the receipt was so long it got stuck in the car door and blew in the wind like a streamer all the way home.  I’ve spent a good 10 minutes today thinking about why this is and this is what I think happened…

Sometime between 2011-2013, an Order Clerk at a CVS in Des Moines, Iowa ordered way too much receipt paper.  He got it at a very discounted price and because of this, it was non-refundable.  The clerk was promptly fired, but the store still had to figure out what to do with all of this receipt paper.

There was enough paper to supply every CVS store in the US for so long that it wouldn’t even be used up in time for when the paper receipt is projected to become obsolete in 2023.  Meetings were held on district levels all over the country to decide how to get this paper used up before it would be wasted.

Employees came up with many creative solutions, such as putting it in the rest rooms as toilet paper and trying to sell it as roles of “mummy wrap” during Halloween time.  All of the ideas were ultimately shut down.  One day, a rookie photo tech had an idea.   What about adding a ridiculous amount of useless coupons to the receipts making them unusually long?  This would not only use up the receipt paper quicker, but would also be giving free advertising to the company by people like me, bringing attention to the long receipts and discussing it with others.  It was a brilliant idea during the prime of social media.

It all worked out well in the end.  The photo tech was quickly promoted, the clerk who made the order found a new job in the meat packing industry and according to calculations, the company will get through all of the paper in time for the projected discontinuance of the paper receipt.

Thanks for reading!  If you are looking for ways to reuse your yard long receipts, maybe Rob will ask for a DIY one day.  Also, don’t forget to let me know in the comments what was for lunch today.  Rob is having ham and cheese this week.


What’s in a Name?

What’s in a name?  A lot actually, Juliet.  I did read Freakonomics.  I remember bringing this up with my friend, Emily a while back.  She reminded me that Juliet was only 14.  Touché, Emily. Rob’s question today deals with a topic that I have a great amount of personal experience with so we will see how this goes.

Rob’s question for today is… is Speedy a good nickname?

I have had many nicknames through my life.  None of them were mean.  All were started by friends or family, but there are so many I can’t even begin to name them.  My mom calls me Nancy at the moment.  I’ll give you that one.  She has also called me Matilda, Penelope and Susie in the past.  Okay, so there are 3 more but I definitely can’t get into ones my friends and brother have given me or we would be here all day.  I have pretty much learned to answer to anything that isn’t someone else’s name in the room.

Now, onto Speedy.  Rob, I think it’s terrible.  I don’t care if you were referring to it as a nickname for a kid, dog, your BFF… even for a turtle it is awful.  It also reminds me of those chicken sandwiches they have in Binghamton… Spiedies. Those are really good. Speedy is not.  I don’t care how fast or slow he is, Speedy is not the name.

I’m going to give you a bit of advice on how a nickname should come into fruition.  In my 29 years of life experience, I have found that a good nickname cannot be thought out in advance.   It just has to happen.  For example, my friend/co-worker, Krysten overheard me talking to someone about lunch meat at work.  She obviously heard wrong because she said what about me?  I said is your name Lunch Meat?  That’s all it took for her name to become Lunch Meat for at least the next 3 years.  That is a way better name than Speedy.

That’s pretty much all I have for today, thanks for reading! Don’t forget to let me know in the comments what was for lunch today.  I’m really in the mood for a Spiedie now.  Is it worth the hour drive?


I Made it

Rob’s question for today is a tough one.  That is why I have been putting it off literally all day.  I have done everything I could think of today to procrastinate.  I shined my silverware, watched videos of cats sleeping on YouTube and even bleached my socks.  I currently have one hour and 36 minutes to publish this by mid night.  The way this questioned is phrased, I believe is not what Rob was actually meaning to ask.  I do know what he really meant, but for the sake of covering all the bases,  (sorry I guess I still have baseball on the brain from yesterday’s post) I’m going to answer this accordingly to how it was asked and what Rob really meant.  I’m not going to lie, I’m just hoping that will give me more words, I’m really at a loss here.

So, Rob’s question for today is which natural disaster do you want to survive the most?  The obvious answer here and I hope everyone would agree is all of them.  If I’m going to die I don’t necessarily care if it’s going to be a tornado or a hurricane that takes me out.  Dead is dead.  I would like to survive all the natural disasters.

With that out of the way, moving on to what I believe Rob meant with this question, which natural disaster would you most like to experience if you knew you would survive it.  This is where I struggle.  It’s a disaster because it’s not a good thing.  I am fortunate enough to say besides blizzards, where I can stay safely indoors, I have not experienced any natural disasters.  Unless you count the time in 2011 or so when my desk at work shook a little and then we found out it was apparently an earthquake.  We had to evacuate while the structural integrity of the building was inspected.  I remember saying really?  I thought that was just Bob kicking the cube wall across from me.  Yeah, that definitely doesn’t count.  I didn’t mean to digress like that… Anyway, so a natural disaster even if survived, most likely would not have been a pleasant experience and maybe others were hurt and property was destroyed.

I left yesterday’s question up in the air, so I will answer this one.  If I were to experience any natural disaster and be sure to survive, it would have to be an asteroid attack.  I say this because you know those socially awkward situations where there is complete silence?  Someone will clear their throat someone else will be looking though their purse or looking at their phone?  You can’t leave but no one has anything to talk about.  That would be a pretty awesome time to say you lived through an asteroid attack.  Even if they don’t believe you it is still better to sit at a table and be called a liar than to sit there in awkward silence.  At least I think so.

Well, I made it with some time to spare.  Thanks so much for reading and let me know in the comments what was for lunch today!